Examples of Etiquette

Etiquette[1] is the code of behavior that urges those who observe it to be considerate for other people’s feelings, conditions and circumstances. It represents the ethics of dealing with people.

Etiquette is internal and external. Here we would try to mention some of its aspects mentioned in Islam and recommended by the Prophet (PBUH), who has been example in this regard:

Etiquette of walking and conversation: Allah Almighty says: “And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!" [The Criterion: 63]. He also says: "And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster. And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass." [Luqman: 18, 19].

Etiquette in not disturbing others: Allah Almighty says: “Those who shout out to thee from without the inner apartments - most of them lack understanding.” [Private apartments: 4]. This verse was revealed in relation to some Bedouins Allah described as tough and most fitted to be in ignorance of the command which Allah has sent down to His Messenger. They came to the Prophet (PBUH) and found him sitting with his wives in their private apartments. They did not wait until he comes out. Rather, they called him saying: “Oh Muhammad, Oh Muhammad (come out to us). Allah reprimanded them for lacking understanding. They did not learn from Allah how to deal with His prophet. It is as well part of reasoning to be polite.[2]

Etiquette of sitting in streets: Abu Sa’id al-Khudri quoted the Prophet (PBUH) as saying: “Beware of sitting in the street.” They said, “We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.”  He said, “If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.” They said, “What are the rights of the street?” He said, “Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence exchanging mutual greetings, and commanding the good and forbidding the evil.”[3]

Etiquette in asking for permission and hospitality: Allah says: “ye who believe! enter not houses other than your own, until ye have asked permission and saluted those in them: that is best for you, in order that ye may heed (what is seemly). “ [Light: 27]. The Prophet (PBUH) also said: “You have to ask permission three times. If you are not allowed in, go back.”[4]

Etiquette in dealing with wife: Sa’d Ibn Abi Waqas quoted the Prophet (PBUH) as saying: “that you would never incur an expense seeking therewith the pleasure of Allah, but you would be rewarded therefore, even for a morsel of food that you put in the mouth of your wife.”[5] Aisha also reported: “I would drink when I was menstruating, then I would hand it (the vessel) to the Prophet (may peace be upon him) and he would put his mouth where mine had been, and drink, and I would eat flesh from a bone when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Apostle (may peace be upon him) and he would put his mouth where mine had been”[6]

Etiquette of sneezing: Abu Huraira said: “whenever Our Prophet (PBUH) sneezed, he used to cover his face with his hand or a cloth and kept his voice low”. About how to deal with a sneezer, Anas Ibn Malik says: “Two men sneezed before the Prophet. The Prophet said to one of them, "May Allah bestow His Mercy on you," but he did not say that to the other. On being asked (why), the Prophet said, "That one praised Allah (at the time of sneezing), while the other did not praise Allah."[7]

-         Etiquette in yawning: Abu Huraira quotes the Prophet (PBUH) as saying: “Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible.”[8]

Etiquette about smell: Jabir Bin Abdullah quoted the Prophet (PBUH) as saying: “"Whoever ate from this plant (i.e. garlic) should not enter our mosque."[9] "He who has eaten from this plant (i.e., garlic) should not approach us and should not offer Salah (prayer) along with us.'[10]

<h2 >Etiquette in shaking hands

Anas Ibn Malik quotes the Prophet (PBUH): “If the Prophet shakes hands with a male, he never withdraws his hand until the latter leaves the hand of the prophet”.[11]

Etiquette of arriving back from travel: A husband should not immediately go back home once he arrives so that he does not see things he does not like. Ibn Umar quoted the Prophet (PBUH) as saying: “If one of you is absent from home for a long time, he should not come back to his family by night”.[12]

Etiquette of sitting: “It is not permissible for a man to separate two men (by inserting himself sitting between them) unless they give permission.”[13]

These are some of the aspects of the Islamic etiquette. They have a lot of details that many people, including philosophers or legislators, could not notice. This is the difference between Allah and the human beings and the difference between Islam and other philosophies and methodologies and our civilization and other civilizations.

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