Be Realistic and Discreet

One of the most important things a young married man must learn to do from the start of his marriage, is to learn how to balance his time and attention between his biological family and his wife, so that he can give the dues of both without undermining the other.

He should not allow either of the two sides to control and manipulate him to alleviate their personal insecurities.

The couple should also remember to be realistic: while it is important to be able to enjoy spontaneous intimacy as and when they desire.  They should acknowledge that there will be times when the presence of relatives in the house will hinder or outright spoil their private time together (e.g. a clingy niece or nephew who refuses to leave their room till late at night!).

They should learn to be very discreet and quiet in their marital relations when there are others in the house, so that no untoward incidents happen that could cause them embarrassment.

She just can’t seem to take her mind off the recurring fantasies. She tries to while away the evening by listening to an Islamic lecture online.

After an hour, she gets up to heat dinner and put the children to bed. Her phone beeps at 9 p.m. She hurriedly reaches for it in the hope that he’ll be texting to say that he will come home soon.

“I’ll be late. Unexpected office meeting. Also need to fill up gas.”

Her heart sinks. Not again!

A flicker of hope still lingers in her though, as she gets ready.

Two hours later, he enters the apartment dragging his feet and sighing heavily with fatigue. Dinner is cold but he doesn’t notice, chewing the food with his eyes half shut, nodding and mumbling obscure responses to her queries.

She wonders if he can smell her perfume at all?

By the time she emerges from the bathroom wearing the silky new piece of intimate apparel that she ordered online the previous week, he is fast asleep on the bed, snoring loudly.

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